Looking for Me

Early high school is difficult. Everyone is trying to fit in, to at least not be different from the mainstream, and to find his place in the scheme of things. When a parent keeps tight strings, life is difficult, and all at once, one is different. My dad worked second shift and my mom had to be the parent at home in the evening. To keep control of us kids, she had to keep us close to home. As a result, she didn't allow me to hang out at the Crest, the local mom and pop candy/soda/sundae shop with the rest of the kids. I couldn't go to the Friday night movies because she didn't approve. I thought she was so mean because she made me different among my peers. On Monday mornings, I had to listen to kids talking about who sat with whom, who was seen making out with whom, and who had a wonderful time meeting new boys. My life was miserable.

There were no boys for me. They just weren't interested. I wasn't out there to be seen and there were no opportunities to meet boys outside of school. In school, I was smart and athletic and wore glasses...not a great combination. Boys were not attracted by such attributes. Ninth grade was difficult when most girls were becoming very social and I didn't fit in that way. The traditional 9th grade dance was held at the end of the school year. Yup, you guessed it...I wasn't invited by any of the boys in school. There were rumors that a shy boy named Tom was going to ask me, but it didn't happen. At the last minute, I think he went with someone else. My friend Barbara and I commiserated. She wasn't asked to the dance either. Thank goodness we had each other. It was the only way we survived the night.