Early high school is difficult. Everyone is trying to fit in, to at least not be different from the mainstream, and to find his place in the scheme of things. When a parent keeps tight strings, life is difficult, and all at once, one is different. My dad worked second shift and my mom had to be the parent at home in the evening. To keep control of us kids, she had to keep us close to home. As a result, she didn't allow me to hang out at the Crest, the local mom and pop candy/soda/sundae shop with the rest of the kids. I couldn't go to the Friday night movies because she didn't approve. I thought she was so mean because she made me different among my peers. On Monday mornings, I had to listen to kids talking about who sat with whom, who was seen making out with whom, and who had a wonderful time meeting new boys. My life was miserable.
There were no boys for me. They just weren't interested. I wasn't out there to be seen and there were no opportunities to meet boys outside of school. In school, I was smart and athletic and wore glasses...not a great combination. Boys were not attracted by such attributes. Ninth grade was difficult when most girls were becoming very social and I didn't fit in that way. The traditional 9th grade dance was held at the end of the school year. Yup, you guessed it...I wasn't invited by any of the boys in school. There were rumors that a shy boy named Tom was going to ask me, but it didn't happen. At the last minute, I think he went with someone else. My friend Barbara and I commiserated. She wasn't asked to the dance either. Thank goodness we had each other. It was the only way we survived the night.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Peter
I have been busy lately. My high school class's last reunion was not well-attended and I have been trying to find lost classmates using google search, Facebook, LinkedIn, and word of mouth. A recent search on google found several classmates and I tested the findings by sending letters to several people with hopes of receiving information from them in return. So far, I have received one letter.
The letter was from one of my classmates with whom I hadn't been well-acquainted and when I realized that he lives in the same town as me, I was appalled that I didn't know. He wrote a 4 page letter and told me what he has done over the last 40 years, a chronicle of names, jobs, dates. It was pleasantly written and well-organized. He is not in good health and I immediately felt compassion for this lonely, retired classmate. I remembered him as he was in school, a person who broke into our class in junior high, who had moved to our town as a young teenager from the Boston area. I believe he had a hard time fitting in to our small high school. He was not exceptionally attractive, not a fabulous student, and I don't think he had many good friends.
But it was wonderful to make contact with someone from the past. As sick as he is, he had taken a lot of time to write and explain his life to me. I felt it was my duty to honor that and to call him to wish him well and to thank him for being the one person out of ten to let me know that he was glad to be found. I called, we chatted, and he seemed happy to know that someone cared. We talked for an hour about our lives and how we were both happy to still be hanging in there.
I will keep him in mind, perhaps try to visit, and enjoy the memories.
The letter was from one of my classmates with whom I hadn't been well-acquainted and when I realized that he lives in the same town as me, I was appalled that I didn't know. He wrote a 4 page letter and told me what he has done over the last 40 years, a chronicle of names, jobs, dates. It was pleasantly written and well-organized. He is not in good health and I immediately felt compassion for this lonely, retired classmate. I remembered him as he was in school, a person who broke into our class in junior high, who had moved to our town as a young teenager from the Boston area. I believe he had a hard time fitting in to our small high school. He was not exceptionally attractive, not a fabulous student, and I don't think he had many good friends.
But it was wonderful to make contact with someone from the past. As sick as he is, he had taken a lot of time to write and explain his life to me. I felt it was my duty to honor that and to call him to wish him well and to thank him for being the one person out of ten to let me know that he was glad to be found. I called, we chatted, and he seemed happy to know that someone cared. We talked for an hour about our lives and how we were both happy to still be hanging in there.
I will keep him in mind, perhaps try to visit, and enjoy the memories.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
The Cliques
My high school classmates, like the stereotypical students from The Breakfast Club, fell into several groups, types, or whatever you want to call the students who gravitated to each other for whatever reason. Each group had its leaders and those leaders kept the groups together.
There was a group of audio/electronics/photography geeks who were fascinated by the workings of different types of speakers, sound boards, video cameras, etc. They were the ones who ran the announcements, took photos for the newspaper, and videoed all of the school's events. They knew every nook and cranny of the school and were known to play practical jokes with the school's PA system.
The drama kids were their friends, as they often hung out in the auditorium together for school plays and concerts. The drama kids lived in the bowels of the auditorium. They knew every hiding place to make out...and they did. Stories of secret trysts leaked out every time a play was in production.
Jocks, both male and female, were always in the gym and locker rooms after school and during study halls if they could get passes. I was a jock, plain and simple. It was thrilling to throw around a basketball instead of having to be quiet in study hall. My friend Marilyn and I would go to the gym whenever we could. It was a great place to check out the guys, who were very often shirtless, and admire the views. To see and be seen...that was the objective.
The cheerleaders were another clique. They were always practicing in the hallways in cold weather and outside in the grassy areas around the school in nice weather. They stuck together like glue and always went to the girls' rooms en masse, reciting the latest cheers and singing bawdy songs. Practice, practice, practice...check the make-up and hair! Must be perfect! I was actually a cheerleader my junior year...probably the most unpopular cheerleader of all time...who never ever had a date.
The jokers...practical and otherwise...were always plotting some new prank. My favorite prank was when someone let 2 chickens loose in the school lobby. My friend Marilyn and I were on our way to the gym when we spotted them. Suddenly, the vice principal, who was pretty wimpy, ran out of the office and tried to catch them. They squawked and ran all around, too fast for the short VP, eluding capture. At that moment, the door to the girls' locker room opened and the 6 ft tall girls' gym teacher strode out, reached out for the chickens, and one at a time shoved them out the lobby door. It was one of the funniest things I had seen in my high school career!
Lastly, the nerdy, engineering/math/science geeky kids...the guys with pocket protectors and pens and the girls who didn't care as much about their appearance as much as they cared about trying for med school. Despite their appearances, they were some of the funniest kids because they knew how to laugh at themselves. Their intelligence made them natural comedians and I was a proud member of this group. I never thought of myself as funny but somehow my brains helped get me into this group. We have all been successful since then...some of us became engineers, some are IT gurus, and some of us became research scientists.
Despite snail mail and phones for communication over the years, we are now beginning to reconnect through Facebook...and finding out that we are those same kids all over again.
There was a group of audio/electronics/photography geeks who were fascinated by the workings of different types of speakers, sound boards, video cameras, etc. They were the ones who ran the announcements, took photos for the newspaper, and videoed all of the school's events. They knew every nook and cranny of the school and were known to play practical jokes with the school's PA system.
The drama kids were their friends, as they often hung out in the auditorium together for school plays and concerts. The drama kids lived in the bowels of the auditorium. They knew every hiding place to make out...and they did. Stories of secret trysts leaked out every time a play was in production.
Jocks, both male and female, were always in the gym and locker rooms after school and during study halls if they could get passes. I was a jock, plain and simple. It was thrilling to throw around a basketball instead of having to be quiet in study hall. My friend Marilyn and I would go to the gym whenever we could. It was a great place to check out the guys, who were very often shirtless, and admire the views. To see and be seen...that was the objective.
The cheerleaders were another clique. They were always practicing in the hallways in cold weather and outside in the grassy areas around the school in nice weather. They stuck together like glue and always went to the girls' rooms en masse, reciting the latest cheers and singing bawdy songs. Practice, practice, practice...check the make-up and hair! Must be perfect! I was actually a cheerleader my junior year...probably the most unpopular cheerleader of all time...who never ever had a date.
The jokers...practical and otherwise...were always plotting some new prank. My favorite prank was when someone let 2 chickens loose in the school lobby. My friend Marilyn and I were on our way to the gym when we spotted them. Suddenly, the vice principal, who was pretty wimpy, ran out of the office and tried to catch them. They squawked and ran all around, too fast for the short VP, eluding capture. At that moment, the door to the girls' locker room opened and the 6 ft tall girls' gym teacher strode out, reached out for the chickens, and one at a time shoved them out the lobby door. It was one of the funniest things I had seen in my high school career!
Lastly, the nerdy, engineering/math/science geeky kids...the guys with pocket protectors and pens and the girls who didn't care as much about their appearance as much as they cared about trying for med school. Despite their appearances, they were some of the funniest kids because they knew how to laugh at themselves. Their intelligence made them natural comedians and I was a proud member of this group. I never thought of myself as funny but somehow my brains helped get me into this group. We have all been successful since then...some of us became engineers, some are IT gurus, and some of us became research scientists.
Despite snail mail and phones for communication over the years, we are now beginning to reconnect through Facebook...and finding out that we are those same kids all over again.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
The Breakfast Club
Last night I watched "The Breakfast Club" with Claire Danes, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy, Anthony Michael Hall, and Emilio Estevez. I have seen the movie before. Once, all the way through, and other times, I walked through the room while my kids were watching it. I must have been in a thoughtful mood because the pathos of the situation hit me hard. All of a sudden, I was back in school, facing all of those classmates with their very different personalities. Just like the students in detention, I felt the vulnerabilities that we all have, hiding deep in our psyches. I remembered the times when I felt humiliated for various things...not having expensive clothes, not having a winning personality, being a bookworm, being tongue-tied around boys that I liked...and I was suddenly that girl again. All of the old feelings came flooding back and I was sucked into the movie like I was part of it.
I knew all of the characters intimately. Every class has them. I thought of the people in my own class who were the people on the screen. The boy whose own homelife was so destructive that he had to bully others to make himself feel good. The nerdy kid who couldn't handle criticism or not being the best academically. The affluent girl who seemed to have everything but the love of her parents. The athlete who had to be the sports king to please his parents. The weird girl who hid behind her outrageous outfits and hair so her personality quirks didn't show. If I had to pick one of the personalities in the film, I was the nerdy kid. Being smart was an anchor around my neck. I wanted to be smart but I also wanted to be accepted for being that way. Most high school kids did not understand that.
So, I felt all of the emotions portrayed in the film. And what a film...just as important today as when it arrived in the '80's.
I knew all of the characters intimately. Every class has them. I thought of the people in my own class who were the people on the screen. The boy whose own homelife was so destructive that he had to bully others to make himself feel good. The nerdy kid who couldn't handle criticism or not being the best academically. The affluent girl who seemed to have everything but the love of her parents. The athlete who had to be the sports king to please his parents. The weird girl who hid behind her outrageous outfits and hair so her personality quirks didn't show. If I had to pick one of the personalities in the film, I was the nerdy kid. Being smart was an anchor around my neck. I wanted to be smart but I also wanted to be accepted for being that way. Most high school kids did not understand that.
So, I felt all of the emotions portrayed in the film. And what a film...just as important today as when it arrived in the '80's.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Friends
Some of my oldest friends are still my friends. I keep in touch with all of them regularly.
Pat...she would eventually become valedictiorian of our high school class. Pat studied all the time and was not really athletic. I guess you would call her a goodie-goodie. She always played by the rules and never did anything to jeopardize her status. I guess I liked her because she was my intellectual peer and we could talk about anything intelligently. We also competed against each other...it was a challenge to beat her at her own game.
Barb...Barb was my comic relief. Barb loved to laugh and we would spend hours chuckling over all kinds of things. I could be truly goofy with Barb...she knew how to make me laugh hysterically.We both loved the comedy shows of the mid-60's: Carol Burnett, Red Skelton, and Laugh-In! Every morning we would laugh hysterically remembering the jokes of the previous night. Barb was born in the USA of German parents who had moved to Adams after World War II. She was bilingual as her parents spoke German at home.
Fran: Pretty, Fran always had a boyfriend. She had older sisters and she always had a nice selection of clothes that she could borrow. Fran had her own style and I always envied her great clothes-sense. Her dad owned a dairy farm and she lived in a huge house on a hill. It was always fun to go and visit because there was so much room to roam.
Linda: One of six kids, she was the oldest and very responsible. Linda was a giggler and always easy to get along with. She was transplanted into my elementary school in the 6th grade because her class at another neighborhood school was overcrowded. We became friends very quickly.
Bev: My neighbor and confidant. She was a year older but we enjoyed many of the same friends and acquaintances. We played softball on the same team, rode bikes, and went to movies together. The second floor porch on her house was directly on a level with my second floor bedroom. In the summer we often had a string can phone line between the two houses over which we could try to converse. Bev and I also had a secret club for which we wrote a constitution, collected dues, and had a cryptic secret language. We left messages for each other in a hole in a big tree in the Hoosac St school yard. If found, no one could read the words without knowing the code.
Marilyn: Marilyn was my high school athletics buddy. She was a wiz at basketball and we both played together senior year on the girls basketball team. She was a "rover" and I was a "forward". Together we accounted for most of the team's scores. My senior year, 1969-1970, was a transition year for girls basketball. We played half of our games by girls rules (6-man ball) and half by the boys rules (5-man ball). Through Marilyn, I acquired a new set of friends, girls who had gone to Liberty St Elementary School. We were the girls sports editors of the Hi-Tension, the school newspaper, during our senior year. We thought it was unfair that girls received no recognition for sports so we wrote articles about our basketball games and sent them to the local newspaper. To our surprise, when there was room for them, they were published.
Pat...she would eventually become valedictiorian of our high school class. Pat studied all the time and was not really athletic. I guess you would call her a goodie-goodie. She always played by the rules and never did anything to jeopardize her status. I guess I liked her because she was my intellectual peer and we could talk about anything intelligently. We also competed against each other...it was a challenge to beat her at her own game.
Barb...Barb was my comic relief. Barb loved to laugh and we would spend hours chuckling over all kinds of things. I could be truly goofy with Barb...she knew how to make me laugh hysterically.We both loved the comedy shows of the mid-60's: Carol Burnett, Red Skelton, and Laugh-In! Every morning we would laugh hysterically remembering the jokes of the previous night. Barb was born in the USA of German parents who had moved to Adams after World War II. She was bilingual as her parents spoke German at home.
Fran: Pretty, Fran always had a boyfriend. She had older sisters and she always had a nice selection of clothes that she could borrow. Fran had her own style and I always envied her great clothes-sense. Her dad owned a dairy farm and she lived in a huge house on a hill. It was always fun to go and visit because there was so much room to roam.
Linda: One of six kids, she was the oldest and very responsible. Linda was a giggler and always easy to get along with. She was transplanted into my elementary school in the 6th grade because her class at another neighborhood school was overcrowded. We became friends very quickly.
Bev: My neighbor and confidant. She was a year older but we enjoyed many of the same friends and acquaintances. We played softball on the same team, rode bikes, and went to movies together. The second floor porch on her house was directly on a level with my second floor bedroom. In the summer we often had a string can phone line between the two houses over which we could try to converse. Bev and I also had a secret club for which we wrote a constitution, collected dues, and had a cryptic secret language. We left messages for each other in a hole in a big tree in the Hoosac St school yard. If found, no one could read the words without knowing the code.
Marilyn: Marilyn was my high school athletics buddy. She was a wiz at basketball and we both played together senior year on the girls basketball team. She was a "rover" and I was a "forward". Together we accounted for most of the team's scores. My senior year, 1969-1970, was a transition year for girls basketball. We played half of our games by girls rules (6-man ball) and half by the boys rules (5-man ball). Through Marilyn, I acquired a new set of friends, girls who had gone to Liberty St Elementary School. We were the girls sports editors of the Hi-Tension, the school newspaper, during our senior year. We thought it was unfair that girls received no recognition for sports so we wrote articles about our basketball games and sent them to the local newspaper. To our surprise, when there was room for them, they were published.
Views of Adams, MA
The Friends Meeting House in Adams, MA is a symbol of the first settlers of the town, the Quakers. Located high on the top of a hill, in what is now Maple St Cemetery, it stands preserved as a testimony to Quaker perseverance. Susan B Anthony was a parishioner here. I recently visited and was struck by the simplicity with which the Quakers led their lives. No frills. No decoration. The simplicity was strangely comforting. I enjoyed the feeling.
The quiet of the cemetery was uplifting and I was struck by the view of Mt Greylock that I saw before me. I have seen this view of the mountain so many times. However, the sky was a clear blue and the clarity was reflected in the details visible to the eye.
This photo was taken with the zoom, but it shows the most recent landslide and the war memorial at the top of the mountain. I thought about all of the times I had climbed the mountain as a teenager and the fun we had racing to the top. It was a tough climb on a path that wound its way through the trees and up a rocky ski trail, but the view from the top was worth it.
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